A Conversation with Stacy Rowan
“How long have you been doing what you do and how did you get to be a Life Architect & Personal Coach?” I was a sensitive, loving kid and even as a young child I always wanted to help people be happier. My grandfather used to say that my biggest fault was wanting everybody to be happy. Given this desire coaching came naturally. However, I didn’t start my professional life as a coach. To understand my journey it’s probably best that I share with you my story and the defining moments that brought me to where I am today; coaching people like you on how to design and build a balanced, happy life. From 1991 through 1999 I worked in the corporate world and I was not a very joyful person. I was waking up in the morning dreading heading off to work. I was living for my weekends, but then finding that it took me all of Friday night to put the work week behind me. And when I woke up Sunday the stress started ramping back up in anticipation of another week. I had a wonderful husband who I loved, but I wasn’t enjoying my time with him because the tension from my job overshadowed everything else. And I was wondering how in the world I was going to keep doing this for the next 40 years until I was able to retire! You see, I started out life as a “good girl”. And because I wanted everyone to be happy, I followed the rules. The rules I was given for living a good life said that you go to school, get good grades, get into a good college, so you can get a good job and support yourself. I got straight A’s on these rules. And when I graduated college I got a good paying job that allowed me to support myself. Unfortunately, no one ever taught me the rules of corporate life, and I got fired from my first good job when I didn’t allow my life to be turned upside down for the political gain of someone else’s career. That was ok though. I still had the rules. So I got another good job, worked even harder and found success. I was the youngest manager in my department and only one of two females. I had a great salary and an impressive title. Hooray! Now I was happy right?…Unfortunately not. As I mentioned earlier, the stress and conflict that I was dealing with in my “good” job was draining the life out of me. And I wasn’t willing to accept that this is what life was supposed to look like. I have a bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering. What engineers learn in college is how to analyze and solve problems. So I decided to find out why I wasn’t happy, to find out what I had done wrong when I followed the rules or…, what I was really wondering…, to find out what was wrong with me. And then to fix it. I spent over a dozen years – reading, working with coaches, taking courses – deciphering the problem and figuring out how to solve it. And this is what I learned. I learned that I could create my own rules regarding what works best for me and what makes me happy. Everyone is different. No wonder one set of rules isn’t the magic formula that works for every person in the world. Makes sense, right? I also learned that it is okay for me to love every part of my life – not just my family or just my home or just my career. I don’t have to pick just one or two parts to love and then live with the rest. I can actually choose to create a balanced, happy life that I love every part of! And when I chose to make my life one that I loved, rather than being at the mercy of a lousy job, or lousy health or my own lousy perception of myself, then my life began to change for the better. After I had my children, I left the corporate world to stay home with them. I also started a career as a fine artist. As I grew that career and became successful, people started to take notice. They noticed my success in a career that was wildly different from the career I had just come from, they noticed my wonderful relationship with my husband and our happy life with our children, and they started to ask how I did it. Many of my conversations with friends and family would end up being about this topic. So I began to coach people informally until finally I realized that this is what I am meant to do, and I created a business around the coaching that was already such a big part of my life. I have since made a commitment in my professional life to help other people design and build the balanced, happy life of their dreams. Because I believe when someone becomes happy in their life and starts really thriving, it positively affects the people around them. And the way to a more tolerant, compassionate world is to give each individual the gift of loving their life, the gift of living the life they really want to live.
“Who are your clients exactly?”
I work with people just like you, who have been following “the rules” and achieving “success” in some areas of their life; and yet are wondering why they still feel unfulfilled, frustrated, unhappy and often exhausted. They are people who realize they want more out of life, and are ready to make changes and take action so they can live more fully, but who don’t really know where to start. Being a former corporate employee and current entrepreneur myself, I tend to attract people who fall into these two categories.
“How are you different from a life coach?”
There are many wonderful life coaches out there who are helping people make good progress toward their goals. What separates me from these other coaches is that I have strengths in both left-brained (logical and process oriented) and right-brained (creative and intuitive) skill sets. I used these skills to design and create a life custom built just for me. Now, I use the logical and process-oriented portions of my engineering background to develop step-by-step exercises that help people quickly and clearly create a Life Balance Blueprint™ and an action plan for reaching their goals. Then, during one-on-one coaching sessions, I use the intuitive portion of my personality to listen for the true essence of what my clients are telling me and my creativity to show them how to make progress in an easy to understand, compassionate and caring way.
“What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of me?”
The Custom Built Life System™ is designed for people that others would probably describe as successful and yet they themselves do not feel so successful on the inside. These outwardly accomplished corporate professionals and entrepreneurs are ready to create the balanced, happy life they really want to be living rather than the one that they are currently waking up to every day. Like me, my ideal clients are also “rule followers” who are ready for a new set of rules. Rules that are customized to work for them and help them get more joy and fulfillment out of their lives. I have created this system especially with these people in mind. It provides the step-by-step exercises you need to design the life you’d like to create and the skills and mindsets necessary for you to build that life. Utilizing the Custom Built Life System™ will enable you to see initial progress in as little as a few weeks and significant, positive changes in 6-12 months. The Custom Built Life System™ works exceptionally well for people who are willing to be introspective and take on new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things in order to create a life custom designed to suit them and their goals and desires. Consider this to be an action-oriented coaching program. By following the step-by-step instructions within each of the exercises and coming prepared to each of your coaching calls you will achieve the incredibly exciting goal of designing and building the life you have always wanted!
“For what type of person is this program not going to work?”
Please know that I am very selective about who I work with. If I sense that my style and approach will not be a good fit for you, I will (gently) redirect you to another coach or resources that will be of more assistance to you and your unique circumstances. I also do not work well with people who only want to talk about what’s wrong with their life and do not engage in the planning and creative problem solving that are necessary to create the life that they want. For this program to work, keep in mind that:
- Only you can make this happen for yourself – we can’t do it for you! YOU will create the life you desire by being engaged in the program and doing the necessary work.
- In order for your life to transform, you must be willing to change some (or many!) of the things you are doing now that are not working. If you are resistant to change or are unwilling to adopt new ways of thinking and acting then this coaching program is not for you.
- Only you can define what your Custom Built Life™ looks like. There are no universal goals or circumstances that will create happiness for every individual. This may require some experimentation on your part and “false starts” in certain areas. Have the patience to accept that this is all part of the process as you create the life you want to be living.
Finally, and without exception, I will not work with people who continuously make excuses for why they cannot get their work done and/or challenge the merits of every single element of the program. It is a waste of our time and your money to spend our coaching calls either going over the latest crisis that prevented you from doing your assignments or arguing about the validity of the coursework. If you recognize yourself as one of these people, I gently and respectfully ask that you not call and I hope you understand why. We’ll probably just not work well together.
“I have a good life, so shouldn’t I just appreciate it and stop wanting more?”
This is such a good question – I get asked this a lot! Of course it is great to express gratitude for all that is wonderful in your current life. In fact, the more gratitude you are able to feel for the good in your life, the quicker you will see changes within the areas you desire to improve. With that said, if you have children you are close to, think about the life that you wish for them to have when they are grown. Does it feel like yours? If not, what would you wish to be different for them? Do you feel guilty wishing for more out of life for these children? Of course not! It follows then, that you also do not need to feel guilty about wishing for and ultimately creating “more” for yourself. Additionally, think about how your interactions with other people will improve as you start feeling better about your life. Perhaps you will become more patient, more tolerant, more loving or more encouraging. When we feel more joyful and optimistic ourselves we have more to give to others. Seeing your life improve may even give these other people the courage to make changes in their own lives. So not only can gratitude and a desire for positive growth co-exist, but when they combine they can act as a powerful catalyst for creating a balanced, happy life.
“My life is so busy right now; I can’t possibly find the time for this work. Shouldn’t I do this later once my life is more in control or I have less going on?”
EVERYONE who comes to us as a client is busy. It’s just the way things are these days, and you and your life are no different. There will always be some excuse available that could stand in your way of making this investment in yourself. Think about it this way. Suppose one of your kids had a routine doctor’s appointment that uncovered a rare, chronic disease. You are instructed to make an appointment witha specialist that is 90 minutes away.You need to see this specialist every other week for treatment for your child. In addition, you need to have your child see a local physical therapist once a week as well as do exercises each night with your supervision at home. Do you think you would figure out a way to fit all of these things into your current schedule or would you need to wait for things to “settle down” before taking this on? Of course you’d find a way to do all of these things now! The same is true of designing and creating a life that you are happy with. You can find the time in your schedule right now if you decide to make it a priority in your life. And the rewards of making this investment in you are just as great as in the scenario described above. Plus, within our program we teach you to have more control over your life and show you how to create more time for the activities that are important to you.
“I’m not sure I can invest in this type of program right now. What do I do if I find myself in this situation?”
We absolutely encourage our clients to make wise money decisions. One of the roadblocks to living a Custom Built Life™ that many people share is not having enough money to make the changes they desire. The Custom Built Life programs are NOT for people who have no money coming in and are absolutely, financially desperate, at least not right away. It’s been my experience that people in financial crisis do not trust the recommendations I give them and do not do the work (probably because they are spending so much time worrying about where they are going to get next month’s rent check or mortgage payment.) If you happen to fall within this category, it’s absolutely OK. Many people have experienced times of financial crisis at one point or another. For now, do yourself a couple of favors… 1. Direct your energy toward climbing out of crisis mode so that you can ensure peace of mind for yourself by having your basic needs met (i.e. a roof over your head, food, transportation, etc.). With the pressure partially relieved, you’ll be able to focus a bit more on what I have to offer and any assignments I give you. 2. Sign up for the FREE eBook at the top of this page 16 Strategies to Kick-Start Your Custom Built Life™. This eBook will help you create a strong foundation for your Custom Built Life. As an additional bonus, when you sign up for the eBook, you will also be signed up to receive our complimentary email newsletter which will provide you with proven strategies and the latest tools to begin making positive changes within your life TODAY. It is essential reading for anyone who is ready to begin defining and building the life they have always wanted to live. Doing these things will really help you to get ready for our work together in the future. When you’re ready, call me and we can get you started. I’m in no rush and I’ll be here when the time is right. All that being said, if your position is not one of financial crisis, but is instead one of just money being “tight” I will offer this advice. Sometimes we think we can’t afford something when really all we need to do is shift our perspective to asking “How can I afford this?” Set aside some time to brainstorm how you can make or save the money needed for this investment. Be creative! What actions can you take to save a little bit more from each paycheck or to bring in additional income? When you empower yourself to come up with creative solutions, you just might be surprised at how much money you can “find”.
“What is the Custom Built Life System™ and what does it include?”
The Custom Built Life System™ is the culmination of the last decade of our research on the strategies, techniques and practical step-by-step exercises that get our clients the RESULTS they are looking for as they create a balanced, happy life. As you complete the exercises, content and recommended reading and come prepared to your individual one-on-one coaching calls, you will work through the five major components of the system: 1.) Create Your Life Balance Blueprint™ If you wanted to build a new home – the home of your dreams, the first thing you would do is come up with a detailed description of your home. You would decide how many bedrooms you want, how big the kitchen should be, what kind of floors you want and every other detail of your home.You would make all of these decisions based on how you want your home to serve you and how you want to feel while you are in it. To create your Custom Built Life™, you also need to go through the design process. We use a proven process that helps you ask the right questions so you can describe the important details for every part of your life. 2.) Prioritize Once you have your blueprint, then you have to prioritize the areas that you want to work on first. It can be challenging to prioritize the areas you want to improve because they are all important. However, it is also a critical step, because if you try to work on everything at once, you aren’t going to be making much progress in any area. So in Step 2 we show you how to use your Life Balance Blueprint™ to quickly and easily create an action plan so that you can begin implementing! 3.) Get Accountability & Support With your action plan in hand, Step 3 is to ensure that you have accountability and support to actually carry through with your action plan. It often takes a team to build a house – carpenters and plumbers and electricians – and you will find it much easier to create your Custom Built Life™ if you have a team too. While working within the Custom Built Life Programs your coaching calls will provide fantastic accountability and support. Within the program we also discuss how to create your own support team that can keep you moving forward once your coaching is complete. 4.) Take Action With Step 4 you will begin taking action and making the changes that are necessary to build your new life. You are your own construction team. No one is going to create your Custom Built Life for you. And if they did it would be the life they dreamed for you, not the one you want. You need to take personal responsibility and build it for yourself. Within the Custom Built Life System™, we give you the best exercises, content, and step-by-step instructions on how you can make the time and take the steps that are required. You don’t have to start with big actions or big changes. You will be surprised if you are consistent at taking action over a period of weeks and months – even if it feels like you are just taking little baby steps – how quickly those small changes will add up into meaningful, noticeable improvements in your life and in how you feel when you wake up each morning. 5.) Remove Barriers As with any construction project, once you start taking action, there are going to be things that pop up that you didn’t expect. So Step 5 is to remove the barriers. When you are creating your Custom Built Life, you will encounter two different types of barriers – practical barriers and intangible barriers. Practical barriers are things like where do I find the time to fit these new activities into my already full life, or where do I find the money to take this course or take this trip that I’ve wanted to go on for years. The intangible barriers are emotional barriers. It is the fear that creeps in when you are moving outside of your comfort zone and trying new things. It is the old thought patterns that need to be addressed and changed. You need to recognize and move through these barriers in order to continue to make progress on building the life you want. Within the Custom Built Life System™, we have specific, proven exercises and techniques to help you overcome the practical barriers that pop up. We also help you work through the emotional barriers that can arise via both our private, one-on-one coaching sessions as well as through a suggested reading list to keep you inspired and putting one foot in front of the other as you move toward the realization of your Custom Built Life. Ready to get started?J
“Does this really work?”
Absolutely! This is the same process that Dave and I have used to transform our own lives that were so full of frustration, fear and exhaustion into a life together that we truly love and look forward to living each day. Our clients are seeing similar, wonderful results as they create their own Custom Built Life™. Go to the Success Stories page on our website to read what they have to say about their experience.
“How quickly can I expect results?”
Dave and I have been on this journey for the last fifteen years. We took this decade and a half of reading, learning, training and coaching and distilled it down to just the things that we tested and found to work best for us. Then we put these elements, and only these elements, into the Custom Built Life System™. As you would expect, our most motivated clients who embrace this system, do the exercises and come prepared to their coaching calls see the fastest results. Many of our clients begin to see progress in as little as a few weeks and have established permanent, positive changes in their lives within 6-12 months of beginning their work with us.
“I downloaded and read your eBook. I am in pretty good shape in some of the 16 areas, but there are some of these things that aren’t a part of my life at all yet. Will your program still work for me?”
Absolutely! Our eBook is a compilation of the habits and practices that Dave and I have identified that enabled us to really push the accelerator pedal on our own Custom Built Life™ and get results fast. However, we realize that everyone is different. Most of these things will be important to you as well, but some might not matter as much. The key is to clear any “junk” out of your way so that you can take action and design and build the life you have always wanted. You can do this while you are working with us, or if the time isn’t right for that yet, you can start on your own. And our eBook is a great first step to making sure you have a sturdy foundation to build upon.
“Stacy, based on everything I’ve read and heard about you, I know you’re the one I want to learn from. What are my options for getting started with you?”
Congratulations on your decision to design and build your Custom Built Life™!! I am so happy to start working with you to create the magnificent life you have always wanted. To get started with creating your Custom Built Life today, I have three programs for you:
The Construct Your Custom Built Life™ Program:
This program is a great choice for you if you are ready to commit to designing and building a balanced, happy life and are looking to take a significantly deeper, more comprehensive approach to get the support you need to accelerate your efforts. It is the best way to make and maintain the changes that you desire. The “Construct” program is a twelve month program. During the course of the year you will be fully supported as we cover all five steps of the Custom Built Life System™ in depth. Over the twelve month period, you will attend 24 private coaching calls and receive 23 written exercises. The exercises will guide you in creating a Life Balance Blueprint™, in identifying and eliminating the practical and emotional barriers that stand in the way to your success, and in putting together an action plan to fully master the habits and practices that are necessary for you to make permanent changes that transform your life from the one you have now to one that has you jumping out of bed each morning excited to start your day. The personal coaching calls twice a month will reinforce the written content and will allow you to ask questions you have and receive any extra guidance you need. These calls are recorded so you can refer back to them as often as needed. Together, the calls and the content will enable you to create the life you have always wanted to live. In most cases, the identification of barriers is a multi-layered process that first addresses the practical barriers (time management, money management, dead-end career, etc.) and then gets to the root of these practical barriers by uncovering the underlying emotional barriers and limiting beliefs that the practical barriers stem from. The length of the “Construct” program allows you the time and the consistency to work through this layered process and make the lasting changes you desire. Finally, between your regular coaching calls, you will also have up to twelve Laser Calls that you can use throughout the course of the program. Laser Calls are focused, 5-10 minute conversations and can be used to answer a single, specific question or to gain clarity on a particular component of the course content.
The Design Your Custom Built Life™ Program:
The “Design” Program is a six month program. It is right for you if you have been thinking about designing a balanced, happy life, and have had some initial success with new ways of doing things, but are having difficulty making permanent changes in your thinking and actions. The “Design” program will provide you with the accountability and support that you need as you begin your journey of creating your Custom Built Life. However, you should be surrounded by a supportive, loving tribe of people who are also focused on personal growth, and can keep you accountable to do the work necessary to continue creating and maintaining your Custom Built Life™ once your “Design” program ends. Over a six month period you will create a Life Balance Blueprint™, develop your action plan, and begin to master the habits and practices that are necessary for you to live your Custom Built Life. During the course of the program we will cover all five steps of the Custom Built Life System™ including identifying the practical barriers that stand in the way of your success. However, given the shortened duration of this program we may not address all the layers of the barrier process. Over the six month period, you will attend 12 private coaching calls and receive 11 written exercises. The written content will guide you through the Life Balance Blueprint™ process including creation of your action plan. The content will also address the practical barriers that you face and provide strategies for removing those barriers so you can start living the life you have always wanted to live.The twice per month personal coaching calls reinforce the written exercises, and provide you the opportunity to ask any questions you have and discuss any barriers you encounter, allowing you to continue to make rapid progress on your journey. In addition to your scheduled coaching calls, you will also have up to six Laser Calls to use throughout the course of the program as needed.
The Blueprint Your Custom Built Life™ Program:
The “Blueprint” Program is a great program for people who want to jump start this process with our support and then continue on their own. You should be an independent self-starter, be surrounded by a supportive, loving tribe of people who are also focused on personal growth, and have a person or a system in place to keep you accountable to do the work necessary to successfully design your Custom Built Life™. During the three month program you will create your Life Balance Blueprint™, develop a preliminary action plan and work through several exercises that establish the foundation for the changes you will make to create a balanced, happy life. This work will take you through the first three steps of the Custom Built Life System™ and leave you poised to take action and start on your journey. Over the three month period, you will attend 6 private coaching calls and receive 5 written exercises. The written content will provide you with specific, detailed steps to take to design your Custom Built Life, prioritize the changes you want to make in your life and define the preliminary actions you will take to make those changes. Your twice per month personal coaching calls will reinforce the written exercises. During these calls you may ask any questions you have and have focused discussions on creating your action plan so you can take immediate action with the help of your own support network once you have completed the program. Between your scheduled coaching calls, you will also have up to three Laser Calls to use throughout the course of the program.
“Ok, I know which program I want, how do I get started?”
Fantastic! And congratulations! One of the most important characteristics of successful people is that they take action! They take educated risks, are decisive and move forward faster toward their goals as a result of their choices. These people make decisions based on their intuition and gut instincts. So, go with this instinct and jump into this program with both feet! Here’s what you do: give me a call at (484) 798-0648 or send me an email at info@CustomBuiltLife.com and we’ll get started. And if you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer those too. I can’t wait to meet you either over the phone or in person! I look forward to supporting you on your journey to create and live a balanced, happy life!
“I’m not sure if I’m ready to get started right now. How can I sample your work to see if it will be right for me?”
The best way to begin to experience the benefits of the Custom Built Life System™ is to sign up for our free email newsletter. The Custom Built Life email newsletter provides you with proven strategies and the latest tools to begin making positive changes within your life TODAY. It is essential reading for anyone who is ready to begin designing and building the life they have always wanted to live. You can sign up for a free copy by filling in the information in the boxes at the bottom of this page.
“Ok, I’m ready to do this for myself; however, I have a couple of additional questions. Can I call you?”
Yes! Once you have read the contents of this interview, if you still have a few questions, just email me at info@CustomBuiltLife.com or call me at (484) 798-0648 and I’ll be happy to walk you through the different options to see which one will be the very best for you. I can’t wait to see you design your very own Life Balance Blueprint™, develop your action plan and embrace the habits and practices that have enabled me and will enable you to live your Custom Built Life™ – let’s get started!!