Breaking the “Rules”



I found myself procrastinating when it came to making this week’s video.

Yes, it was a full and active week, but if I am honest with myself I could have made time to create this video sooner than I did.

So why did I procrastinate?

Truthfully, because I was nervous. And a little scared.

You see in the video I reveal a “rule” that I am about to break, and this rule impacts you. And I was nervous that you would judge me, or be upset with me.

You can watch this 6 minute video to see what rule I am breaking and how it impacts you.

Breaking the Rules

In my coaching I speak a lot about breaking or changing the rules. In fact I start every video by saying I empower people to change the rules they are living by.

But just because I know the value of changing the rules, that doesn’t mean it is always easy or comfortable for me to do it for myself.

What are “the Rules”

Let me back up for just a second for the sake of anyone who might be new here and explain what I mean by “the rules”.

Rules are things told to you by experts, friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members, or anyone who thinks they know what you should do.

They are well meaning bits of advice intended to help the average person be happier, healthier, safer, more successful, or something along those lines.

The issue is that I don’t know any average people. Everyone is unique which means that sometimes the rules designed for average people don’t fit us very well.

How to Recognize the Rules

The rules can be tricky to recognize because our common sense or the logical part of our brain often justifies why the rules make sense.

But the easiest way to know if it is a rule that might need to be broken is if it starts with the word “should”. If you find yourself saying “I really should…” then it is time to look more closely at what follows the should.

Another way to know if the rule in question might need to be changed is if it feels heavy or like a burden. Also if you have to psyche yourself up to do whatever it is and force yourself to get it done, or if it takes a lot of effort.

All of these things point to a rule that needs to be more closely examined.

And once examined you may find that the advice from your inner wisdom is better for you than the advice given by the expert.

Why it’s Hard to be a Rule Breaker

It might seem that, with the feeling of heaviness and the effort required to follow the rule, it would be easy to break or change that rule and follow your inner wisdom. But don’t be fooled.

It can be hard to be a rule breaker.

It can be hard because we’ve all been taught to value expert advice. We’ve been taught to trust people outside of our selves more than we trust our own feelings and wisdom.

It can be challenging because we’ve been told that good boys and girls conform and do what everyone else is doing.

It can also be scary because no one likes to be judged or ridiculed. If we follow someone else’s advice and it doesn’t work out we don’t have to accept the blame.

But my experience tells me that those times I find the courage, face the discomfort, and do what is right for me are the times when things work out best. In fact they often work out much better than the results I might expect from listening to the “experts”.

Because let’s face it, who is a better expert on you than you?

Your Assignment

Watch the video and see what rule I am going to break this summer. Then share in the comments what rule you are going to change and what impact you think that will have on your Custom Built Life™.

Have a great summer! (Or winter if you happen to live in the southern hemisphere!)

Stacy and Dave

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