Today we would like to introduce you to our wonderful friend Diane Lloyd!
At the age of 40 Diane reassessed her criteria for decision-making and redefined what “success” really meant to her. She was able to connect to who she truly was and learned to listen to her inner voice that had been silenced for many years. She now walks the path that fulfills her vision daily and is a professional coach, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Dedicated to helping people, teams and organizations reach their full potential; she launched Inspired Results Group in 2012. When she is not coaching, Diane spends time with her active family, enjoying friends, yoga and running.
Background:
What was a turning point or challenge in your life that made you decide it was time to take action and begin creating your Custom Built Life™?
It is a bit of a cliché, but after I turned 40 I started to ask myself some questions about my career path and whether I wanted to do the same thing for the next 20 years. I was a successful fundraiser for a well respected cultural institution in our city, and by all traditional criteria I “had it all”; great partner, two beautiful, happy children and a great paying job that everyone thought was perfect for me, except I didn’t feel like me. I was really good at meeting other people’s expectations and I thrived on being “good” at doing what people needed from me.
The turning point event was when I attended a retreat with my coach at the time, and she had us answer the question: What is your Vision for your life? It was a very difficult question for me and in the end the answer was “To be connected to the people that I love, and help others reach their full potential”. As someone who was working too much, in a field I was no longer enjoying and an organization that did not align with my leadership values, I was VERY far away from realizing that vision for my life.
I spent the rest of the day in tears, and from that moment, I realize that seeds were planted and I started to pay attention and gradually make changes and different choices. Something inside of me WOKE UP!
Tell us about the “before and after” of your Custom Built Life.
One of the main differences about my life before is that I remember vividly that my mind was always full of thoughts and questions about whether I was doing the right thing, anxious and guilty feelings about my ability to juggle a demanding job, with two young children at home. I just always felt stressed and unsettled, and really not at all in alignment with my values or my heart. I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do – excel in your career, make a great salary, have a family and you are there. I really didn’t think there was another way to be.
Now, my heart is full on a daily basis because I am doing work that I absolutely love each and every day. I remember saying early on in my transition “Ah, I feel like myself again”, and I know that people could sense and feel that about me. I was lighter, happier and probably a bit annoying to those who still felt “stuck” in their place.
Now my mind is full of thoughts about possibilities, ideas, gratitude and true joy. I retrained as an Executive Coach, and started my coaching firm Inspired Results Group in 2013. I have the pleasure of supporting people in their leadership journey, facilitating team-building workshops and sometimes coaching people to new careers or transitions in their life. I have a flexible schedule, which I value highly to take more vacation time with my family – especially trips to the lake in the summer to spend time with their cousins. This is something that would not have been possible in my “former” life.
What were some “rules” you used to follow, that you changed or released because they were not serving you well?
I think one of the biggest shifts for me has been the ability to release myself of doing what others want me to do, or buying into the idea that a secure job and a good salary were the definition of success and I would be a fool to give that up.
Making this shift honestly forced me to step into my fears about financial security and financial dependence. I had always prided myself on my financial independence, and to have to look at my husband as the sole breadwinner while I got my business up and running was a very difficult thing for me to do.
Fortunately, I have a lot of support and that made it easier – not easy – but easier.
What are two or three personal “rules” that now guide your Custom Built Life?
This is interesting because I don’t think of them as rules, but I do things like, as much as possible, end my day at the time of pick up from school for my daughter which is earlier that I would normally finish work. I love that time when I pick her up and we get a half hour together and sometimes go for a hot chocolate and hang out before heading home. This is golden before she enters middle school next year and will be walking to school with her brother. But I will be home when they get home and they always have a sense of security that we are there for them.
As a family we really value our holidays and vacation time and so I take at least 8 or 9 weeks off a year to align with school vacations and maximize our summer time. The first year I did this I took 6 weeks off in the summer and it was amazing to have that much time off! It hadn’t happened for me for over 20 years and it was a true gift. To spend that time with my kids having fun and visiting family every summer is something I will always look back on and by grateful for.
My Custom Built Life has also given me more time and space to focus on my health and wellness. I am able to focus on a healthy diet, exercise, and sleep with this lifestyle and way of working and being. I really value my wellness and I know that while I am still very busy and productive, the flexibility to manage my schedule to work around other life priorities has really been the most amazing by-product of creating this life.
Advice & Perspective
PAST: What is one piece of advice you would give to someone who has just started thinking about creating their Custom Built Life?
The one piece of advice I would share is that we are all more courageous that we give ourselves credit for. I have always said that the scariest decisions I have made in my life were the best ones. And it is true, because these were the decisions that scared me, forced me to face my fears and take a leap of courage. I know that our joy and our passion lives on that other side of that fear – it is so worth it to take that leap! I believe that our journey in life is to learn to overcome those fears and tap into our courage so that we can live a life with no regrets.
PAST: What is the biggest thing you had to overcome to create the life you have today?
Learning to trust my inner voice was difficult for me and continues to challenge me along this journey of entrepreneurship and coaching. I am intentionally developing my intuition with the guidance of Carmen Spagnola (check out the Numinous School for Intuitive Development) and I am convinced that if I can better tap into my intuition, I will be a better coach for my clients, and a thriving entrepreneur.
PRESENT: What are three things that people can do right now to start the process of creating their Custom Built Life?
I strongly believe that the first step is that all-important exercise of sitting with the question: What is your Vision for your life? Paint the picture in your mind of what you want to be able to say about your life 20, 30, 40 years in the future. It isn’t an easy question, but when you sit with that vision and spend the time describing it (out loud preferably) it will ground you and guide you.
After you have a sense of your vision, then I highly recommend you find a coach to work with you and to support you in creating the plan for change that you probably feel like you need. It is entirely possible to do this on your own, but my experience and observation is that on your own you will flounder, give in to self-doubt, lose your courage, and get lost along the way. I used many coaches in my journey and I highly value the opportunity to dedicate time just to focus on me, and have someone reflect back to me what they hear me saying, and reminding me of the courage I do have. This is key to making your Custom Built Life a reality.
Remember that you ARE WORTH IT! You absolutely deserve to live a life that fills you with happiness, fulfillment and joy. You deserve the opportunity to take some chances, shake things up and see what you can create for yourself with your own rulebook. It is YOUR LIFE – nobody else is living it for you, and the people who truly love you will be happy to support you as they watch you shift and grow and become an even happier version of yourself. They want that for you. You deserve it. Get started – I am so excited for you!
FUTURE: What lies ahead for your Custom Built Life? What are you currently working toward?
My Custom Built Life will continue to stretch me outside my comfort zone, and I am totally excited about it! I have an unexpected opportunity to host a radio show on Voice America called Create Your Inspired Life, which I am hosting with my coaching partner Tracey who I adore. The show launches on April 6th at noon so I hope you tune in!
On the personal front we are planning another adventure vacation this summer with some backcountry camping and lake time, and I also plan to do a Mother/Daughter trip to Costa Rica with some other Moms and Daughters next year which is super exciting.
I honestly just want to keep doing and living like I am. My personal theme for this year is FUN, and I am amazed at how that has set a tone and intention for this year. I am actively putting more fun into my weeks in various ways, and loving the light-hearted energy that this is bringing into my life. I have a tendency to work hard and focus on the business a lot, so this theme keeps me focused differently and I love it!
Favorites:
Who have the most influential people been in your life? Why did they influence you so much?
Looking back I realize how much the leaders in my various jobs influenced me. I was so attentive to their behaviour (good and bad) and I think that really informed my leadership style and what I value in leadership. I think this is where my passion for coaching leaders really stems from. My sister is a huge inspiration to me and we are so lucky to live in the same city and share our entrepreneurial journey and support one another.
What is your favourite personal development book?
Bar none it is The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. That book smacked me upside the head and opened my heart widely to releasing myself from a lot of patterns that were not serving me. It is a must read for your Custom Built Life journey.
What are your favourite tools or practices for staying motivated?
I honestly never struggle with motivation now that I am doing what I am passionate about! I used to struggle a lot with procrastination and avoidance of tasks, and now I realize that it was because I was disconnected from the work and it didn’t mean anything to me. That said, doing administrative tasks and book-keeping are not my favourites, so I will put on some happy music to get me going!
What is your favourite song for improving your mood?
My favourite song for improving my mood right now is anything from Bruno Mars, and I also love Maroon 5’s new song Sugar. It puts a big smile on my face!
What would people be surprised to learn about your Custom Built Life?
Hhhhmmmm…..people are often surprised that Darren and I never got married, but we have been together happily for 19 years. We are deeply committed to each other and don’t need the ceremony to prove that to one another. This is surprising to people because we are such a traditional looking family! It is fun to have something to surprise people with 🙂
What question do you wish we had asked you?
I wish you had asked me what I love about Stacy and Dave Rowan! I would tell you that I have only had the pleasure of knowing Stacy and Dave for about a year through our entrepreneurial program; the Client Attraction Business School, but that I instantly loved their genuine energy and wanted to learn more about them! I see how committed they are to their clients and their passion for their business and helping people create a life they truly love. I am so glad to know them and call them friends – a true gift for me 🙂
Thank you so much Diane for generously sharing your time with us!! I know our readers will be encouraged and inspired by your story.
You can learn more about Diane and her work on her website: www.inspiredresultsgroup.com
