Custom Built Life™ Interview Series
We are thrilled to announce a new feature here on Custom Built Life!
We will be posting an interview series where each month we interview someone who is either currently living or creating their Custom Built Life.
Our hope is that these interviews will provide you with motivation and courage on the days that you are challenged to keep moving forward with creating your own Custom Built life. (Just so you know, Dave and I still have days when we feel challenged. They are just part of the process and not a reason to give up.)
For this first edition, I answered the interview questions. It seemed only fair since we will be asking others to answer the same questions. I don’t want to put them through anything I haven’t survived myself. Dave and I also thought it would help you continue to get to know us even better! Dave will be answering the questions as well in a future month.
Every month we will be interviewing someone new, so you will get to read a lot of different stories and see all of the different ways a Custom Built Life can be created. We hope you enjoy the new series!
Background:
First let’s give our readers some background on what your life used to be like. Share with them where you started so they will have an appreciation of how far you have come and all that has changed for you.
What was a turning point or challenge in your life that made you decide it was time to take action and begin creating your Custom Built Life™?
“I was in a corporate job that was just bleeding the life out of me. It was my second corporate job and just as unsuited to me as the first. I was wondering if the corporate world was really the right place for me. I felt a lot of stress at work and often, arriving home exhausted, I would need to rest on the couch before feeling I had enough energy to interact with Dave. We spent many evenings sitting together talking about how unhappy we were with the current situation. Then one evening, while having this familiar conversation, he turned to me and said, “I don’t want to be sitting here on this exact same couch having this exact same conversation when we are 40.” That was my wake up call. It was literally like receiving a jolt of electricity. It woke me up and made me realize that no matter how much we talked about wanting life to change, nothing was actually going to change until we did something about it!”
Tell us about the “before and after” of your Custom Built Life. (Describe what your life was like before your turning point and what it is like now? What one or two things do you get to do now that you thought would never be possible? What are some of the best benefits to living your Custom Built Life?)
“Before my wakeup call I was not very happy. I spent a lot of time complaining and wondering why life was the way it was. Many mornings I woke up dreading work not knowing how I was going to get through the day, let alone the week or 40 more years of my career!!
Now I love the work I do. It is so fulfilling to support people on their journey to create their Custom Built Life, to see them come back to life and begin to feel more joyful and fulfilled!
Not only has my career life improved, but my home life has as well. My relationship with Dave is stronger than ever. We have so much fun with our kids and with our extended families. In fact we rarely find ourselves sitting on the couch together because there is so much we love to do. Our health and eating has improved, our outlook on life has improved, and we laugh a lot more and complain a whole lot less!
In our Custom Built Life we have chosen to be entrepreneurs. One benefit of this is that if our children have a sporting event, performance, or activity during the work day we are able to plan our day so we can attend. This is something that when we were both in the corporate world we worried we would miss out on.
The freedom to manage our schedule and manage our life is one of the best benefits to living our Custom Built Life. We get to decide what is important and what our days look and feel like. We are afforded the blessing of shaping our life so that it best fits us and as a result we experience a lot of fun and joy and fulfillment.”
What were some “rules” you used to follow, that you changed or released because they were not serving you well?
“I ditched the rule that “You can’t have it all and it is selfish to want it all anyway.” I believe that I can “have it all” and that there is plenty of “it all” to go around. And wanting “it all” is not being selfish: I think it is actually the opposite. When I live my Custom Built Life, I am a happier person and that has a positive ripple effect upon everyone I come in contact with. It makes me a better mother to my children, it makes me a better coach to my clients, and it means I do things like smile at strangers and hold the door for people. Those last two things may seem really small and unimportant, but sometimes they make a real difference in someone’s day.
I also changed the rule that success means having a big, prestigious corporate job and putting my career first. I realized that everyone has their own definition of success and my (and most people’s) definition extends far beyond just the career aspect of my life.”
What are two or three personal “rules” that now guide your Custom Built Life?
“Our priorities are family and health first, and everything else comes after that. I can’t do my work in the world if I am unhealthy and don’t have the love and support of those who are important to me.
When presented with a new opportunity, we decide whether to accept it not just from a perspective of what results it will bring us, but also on how it will feel to live through that opportunity. We believe that there are always opportunities flowing to us so we don’t need to worry about saying no to those that don’t fit our life well.”
Advice & Perspective
Our readers would love to hear some words of wisdom that will help them on their own journey of creating their Custom Built Life.
PAST: What is one piece of advice you would give to someone who has just started thinking about creating their Custom Built Life?
“If you are thinking of making changes in your life come up with a few small steps or experiments that you can take right now. Don’t sit on the couch talking about how much you dislike your life. Take responsibility for changing it. You will be glad you did!”
PAST: What is the biggest thing you had to overcome to create the life you have today?
“My own fears, doubts and insecurities. Making changes in your life is uncomfortable. When I stretch out of my comfort zone all of the gremlins in my mind come out to play. They tell me that I will never succeed or that I will make a fool of myself. Now I know that it is just part of the drill. When the gremlins start showing up I take it as a sign that I am outside of my comfort zone. That is a good sign, because change and progress never happens from inside my comfort zone!”
PRESENT: What are three things that people can do right now to start the process of creating their Custom Built Life?
“First, get clear about what you want to change. Have a clear vision for your Custom Built Life. Make sure it is your vision, not someone else’s vision for your life.
Next find someone who you can share your vision with, someone who will be your cheerleader and support you and encourage you when your gremlins show up.
And then start taking small actions in the direction of the life you want. You don’t have to tear up your existing life, set it on fire and burn it down to coals (in fact I would strongly recommend against that!), just start taking small actions that move you in the direction of your vision.”
FUTURE: What lies ahead for your Custom Built Life? What are you currently working toward?
“There are so many exciting things that I have planned for my Custom Built Life. I am definitely planning on more travel. We are structuring our business so we can work from anywhere in the world and, as our children grow up and step into their own lives, I look forward to exploring many new areas. In our business we have many plans for new ways to serve our clients. In 2015 we plan on offering a webinar series as well as some smaller group programs that will allow our clients to connect more as a community. In the future I also see myself speaking more and sharing our message with a wider audience. I find that I never have an issue with coming up with new ideas for my Custom Built Life. The challenge lies more in deciding which of the ideas I want to work on first!”
Favorites:
Now for some fun, can you please tell us some of your favorite things?
Who have the most influential people been in your life? Why did they influence you so much?
“Dave has definitely been the most influential person in my life. He has supported this somewhat crazy idea of creating a life we love from the very beginning. He always has complete faith in me and in us and helps find ways to overcome any challenge we encounter. He is the best partner a girl could ask for!
Oprah has also been a big influence because her show is the first place I started hearing similar ideas to the ones I was having about creating the life I really wanted. She has been the supportive friend to many women and has encouraged thousands to live their best life. She created a life suited to her even as other media outlets criticized her or tried to tear her down.”
What is your favorite personal development book?
“I read a lot of personal development books, so picking just one is a challenge, but I am going to have to go with Brene Brown’s Gifts of Imperfection. As a recovering perfectionist I love what she has to say on the topic.”
What are your favorite tools or practices for staying motivated?
“To remain excited about my Custom Built Life I focus on all of the ideas I have and my vision for the future. Dave and I love to talk about our dreams. We have some big dreams and focusing on the joy in those visions is always energizing.
I also have many tools I can use if I am having a challenging day or am not in the best mood. Simple things like dancing in my kitchen to upbeat music or being silly with my kids. Quiet activities like meditating or journaling or spending time outside. I keep a list of activities that make me feel better and do something from that list whenever I feel I need a lift!”
What is your favorite song for improving your mood?
“I created a whole playlist of happy, upbeat songs that I love to listen to! My kids roll their eyes at me because every time a new song starts I say “This is a great one too!!” as if it is a surprise. My current favorite is probably “How You Like Me Now” by The Heavy.”
What would people be surprised to learn about your Custom Built Life?
“Some of the best moments are the unplanned ones. No amount of planning could enable me to foresee some of the wonderful things that are happening in my life! ”
