Let’s Review

If you read Part I of this series, you’ll remember that being unhappy sometimes doesn’t mean you are flawed, unappreciative or somehow abnormal. It’s a normal part of being a person, so avoiding unhappiness isn’t a realistic goal. Instead, look for ways to improve how you respond and what you do when you’re unhappy.

 
If you missed Part I, click here to read it before going on.

Unhappiness Triggers

Your assignment from the last post was to start paying attention to what situations, people, and circumstances trigger unhappiness for you. Below I share my triggers because often having an example can help you to identify your own.

My Unhappiness Triggers generally fall into three categories.

Unmet Expectations:

When I go into a situation or experience expecting a certain outcome it can be tough to embrace a different outcome that is somehow “less than” I imagined it would be.

This pitfall is particularly hard to avoid when I am following a well-defined path that has yielded a set of results for other people in a certain time frame. If I’m not careful, I can get upset when the same results take longer than I want them to or than I feel they did for someone else. I may be able to see the progress, but I want the RESULTS! And when I judge myself negatively based on the speed or size of my results unhappiness and frustration often ensue.

Frustrating Rules:

This used to be a bigger trigger for me. Now I am getting to be an expert at changing rules I don’t like in my life.
The frustrating rules that used to plague me typically fell into the category of things that soak up a bunch of time, but don’t serve me well either in terms of moving me closer to my goals or nourishing my spirit. Things like putting up with a crappy job, spending time with friends who are negative all the time, watching depressing news stories or movies, or trying to adhere to an unrealistic standard of cleanliness in my house when there are so many other competing demands for my time.

Sudden, Bad News:

Let’s face it – “stuff” happens in life. Medical issues pop up for you or a family member, job losses occur, cars need major repairs, and a whole host of other issues arise unexpectedly that throw a monkey wrench into your life in terms of your mood, your schedule, and/or your finances.

Your Assignment:

Take a look at the Unhappiness Triggers you gathered during Part I of this exercise. Compare them to the list I’ve given you above. Do some of yours also fall into these categories? What other types of triggers do you seem to have?

Put them into groups that make sense to you. We’ll make good use of these categories in the third and fourth parts of this 4-part series. I’ll talk to you about each of these types of Unhappiness Triggers and how I’ve found success in continuing to stay in action and move forward while experiencing this emotion.