Today I would like to introduce you to my dear friend Tiffany Kane. Tiffany is one of those people who has an old soul and a lot of wisdom to share. Tiffany works with proactive parents who desperately want to love the most important job they will ever have, but sometimes feel overwhelmed by the day to day responsibilities that come with it. Through the Connected to Your Core Parenting Program™ seminars and private coaching, parents fall back in love with their kids by building confidence, eliminating self-doubt, trusting themselves, and having a lot more fun with their kids. Tiffany is fiercely committed to empowering parents to raise empowered children who think creatively, communicate effectively and take responsibility for their thoughts words and actions. Download your free MP3 audio program, “Raising Empowered Children,” at www.connectedtoyourcore.com.

 

Background:

 

What was a turning point or challenge in your life that made you decide it was time to take action and begin creating your Custom Built Life™?

 

In the year 2010 I experienced three devastating losses in my life. My 12 year old nephew was diagnosed with cancer in February and passed away 7 months later in September. My mom was diagnosed with cancer, and while she survived for 2 years, she really did just survive and she was never the same. Perhaps most shocking of all, my husband of just over 4 years very unexpectedly passed away on Mother’s Day of that year.Although it didn’t happen right away, the end result of all that loss and all that grieving set me on a path of creating a life that mattered both to me and to others. I had always had big dreams and knew I was in the world to do great things, but the losses of that year really led me to the decision to make those dreams a reality now and not at some far off point in the future when…. (fill in the blank with the favorite excuse of the day).

 

Tell us about the “before and after” of your Custom Built Life.

 

This is a hard question because I don’t really always think about it as a before and after. I think of it more and an evolutionary process. But to generalize a bit I would say that life used to be about going through the motions and there wasn’t any sense of prevailing satisfaction. I used to experience momentary satisfaction for sure, but it is not the same depth of satisfaction that I experience now as a result of doing purposeful work.Now I get to do things that give me energy instead of drain me. Someone asked me after a workshop recently if I was tired at the end of the evening. But the truth was I was fired up and what makes me tired is how long it takes to settle down before I can sleep.

 

What were some “rules” you used to follow, that you changed or released because they were not serving you well?

 

I used to be really invested in what I thought other people thought of me. I know it sounds crazy, but I used to make up things that I thought other people would think of me if I pursued my Custom Built Life. And then I would be upset at them for the things I made up. Crazy, right?So ultimately the rules that got in my way were all made up by me.

 

To make it worse, I was making up rules that said I couldn’t do it. Once I realized that since I was making it up anyway, I could just as easily make up rules that said I could do whatever I wanted. There is such great power in understanding the choices available to me and then actually making a more powerful choice!

 

What are two or three personal “rules” that now guide your Custom Built Life?

 

The all have to do with my heart. I have discovered that my heart will never lead me astray. But my head often will. So I guess the rules would be

1 – Listen to and with my heart
2 – Trust the wisdom that resides in my heart
3 – Speak from a place of love, kindness, and respect

 

Advice & Perspective

 

PAST: What is one piece of advice you would give to someone who has just started thinking about creating their Custom Built Life?

 

 

In the beginning it is really important that you surround yourself with people who will love you and support you in making positive change in your life. Until you are strong in your resolve and completely confident in what you are doing, do not share your ideas with negative people. Do not let the nay-sayers steal your dreams.

 

PAST: What is the biggest thing you had to overcome to create the life you have today?

 

My biggest hurdles are always me. Or put another way, I am my own biggest obstacle. When I get out of my own way and trust my bigger purpose in the world, I get great results.PRESENT: What are three things that people can do right now to start the process of creating their Custom Built Life?

 

Read, read and read great books that fill you up and lead you to clarity.
Surround yourself with like-minded advancing people.
Get to know yourself in an intimate way by discovering what you are passionate about, what brings you joy, and what really scares you.

 

FUTURE: What lies ahead for your Custom Built Life? What are you currently working toward?

 

Currently I am building www.ConnectedToYourCore.com where Parents fall back in Love with their kids. I am having so much fun connecting with parents at a deep level to talk about the things that really matter when it comes to parenting. Right now I offer private coaching and a 7 week group program. I am looking forward to starting 2 and ½ day retreats in the fall.

 

Favorites:

 

Who have the most influential people been in your life? Why did they influence you so much?

 

I think it would have to be my parents. My mom was born and raised in Scotland and my dad is 100% Sicilian. And let me tell you, those two cultures are completely different. Although it may not be obvious from the way I look I feel like I grew up in a bi-cultural family. From that experience I have learned how to adapt and get along with pretty much everyone.

 

What is your favorite personal development book?

 

There is no possible way for me to pick just one. The two that really set me on a spiritual path were The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch.

 

What are your favorite tools or practices for staying motivated?

 

TUT – Notes from the Universe.

 

What is your favorite song for improving your mood?

 

My favorite song keeps changing, but I love Bob Sima especially the album putalittlemoreloveintheworld. If you haven’t heard of him you should check him out.

 

What would people be surprised to learn about your Custom Built Life?

 

I do not believe in compartmentalizing my life anymore. Yep, you have to have boundaries, but the lines between life and work are blurred and now it is just life.

 

What question do you wish we had asked you?

 

A better question would have been, “What don’t you want us to know about you?” But I am glad you didn’t ask that.

 

Let’s see, what do I wish you had asked… … … Maybe if there is anything I miss about my before life? And yes sometimes I do long for the even pace of being on the hamster wheel, but usually that is when I have let myself get out of balance somehow.

 

Thank you so much Tiffany for so generously answering our questions and sharing your journey with our Custom Built Life community!

 

If you would like to learn more about Tiffany and her work with parents you can visit her online at www.connectedtoyourcore.com